My daughters encounter the 2016 presidential election, part 5

Remember how Leila's goal has been to become the first female president of the U.S.? She came home from school yesterday and announced that she was 100% certain that Hillary Clinton was going to win the November election. Therefore, she would need to find a new goal. To that end, Leila asked me if I could turn her into a "Black girl." She said that if she couldn't be the first "girl president," then she wanted to be the first African American woman to be president. (Ah Shirley Chisholm, where are you now?)

My dear daughter, if you get an owie on your knee and need someone to kiss it better, daddy can do that. If you need someone to teach you what a gerund is, daddy can do that. But if you need someone to transform you into an African American kid, that is one thing daddy cannot do.

A little fatherly advice, if I may: It would be more realistic for you to try to become the first female president with Mexican heritage. Yeah, I know it's a stretch, since we are talking about your second great grandfather, who migrated north into Texas from Mexico in 1903. But "Leila Topham, part of the Reconquista since 1903" would look great on a campaign button.

Now, dear child, set aside your political ambitions for the moment and keep practicing the solo you will be singing in your school's talent show in just over a week. One thing at a time, kiddo, one thing at a time.

My daughters encounter the 2016 presidential election, part 4

Political strife of an unusual nature is afoot next door. One morning I awoke to find that my neighbors had planted a Donald Trump banner in the lawn on the boundary line between our yards. I was much relieved a couple days later to see it had been moved to the center of my neighbors' front yard. A few days later, it disappeared altogether.

I mentioned this to Savannah, who giggled and said, "I know." She then explained that her friend who lives in our subdivision and rides the bus with her to school every day is the granddaughter of our next-door neighbors. Unlike her grandparents, she does not support Trump's candidacy. It was she who had been moving the banner around. Savannah said that her friend kept moving it as a form of protest, as well as an act of defiance against her grandparents. One day, she turned the sign around so that passersby would see the print backwards. She gleefully announced that it now read "Pmurt." Apparently, that was the point at which the grandparents conceded defeat and removed the sign entirely.

Nine-year-old girl: 1 Grandparents: 0

Laugh. Out. Loud.

My daughters encounter the 2016 presidential election, part 3

When I picked Leila up from school today, she immediately started in on politics again, continuing this morning's conversation (see earlier post for context). She told me the kids talked about politics all day. She said some of her classmates' fathers think Trump is great, but others do not. She said the kids whose parents do not support Trump kept referring to him as "Tronald Dump." Leila thought this was funny, given the slang meaning of the word "dump."

Then Leila switched to discussing the Democrat candidates. She said she opposes Hillary Clinton solely because Hillary is currently the biggest threat to her dream of becoming the first "girl president," as Leila phrased it. Then Leila wanted to know how soon she could run for president. She was appalled when I said not until the year 2044. She decided my math was off and set out to double-check it. She came up with 2028 as the correct year. Turns out, she thought she could run for president after she turned 18. When I told her the magic number was 35, it ruined her day. She thought it was dumb of the Framers of the Constitution to pick such a ridiculously advanced age as the minimum requirement.

This kid entertains me.

My daughters encounter the 2016 presidental election, part 2

Scene: driving Leila to school this morning. She is looking at all the election signs along the way.

Leila: "Dad, I had a dream last night that I voted for someone for president. It was a made up person. I can't remember his name now, but his last name started with a 'P'."

Me <thinking>: Just so long as his last name didn't start with a 'T' kid!

Leila, still reading names off signs: "Dad, Why don't you want Trump to win?"

Me <thinking>: Because he's a xenophobic buffoon, among other things.
I then explain that he has lots of unpalatable views, and that he just keeps saying more disturbing things every time he opens his mouth. She requests an example. I ask her if she has heard of Muslims. She says no. I explain that they are a very large religious group, the vast majority of whom are peaceful people just trying to live good lives. I remind her about 9/11 and tell her that Trump has tapped into some people's post-9/11 fears. I explain his anti-Muslim stance and tell her he dislikes millions of people based on their religion.

Leila, as she hops out of the car at school: "So, like Hitler?"

Dear Mr. Trump, my 7-year-old daughter is on to you! You haven't got a prayer.